The boiled-down version of the story is that some restaurants are automatically adding tips. Most people accepted automatic gratuities for large parties. But some were galled that tips of 20 percent were added to all meals, no matter the size of the dining party. What if the server was rude, inattentive and got your order wrong? Isn’t tipping for good service? Can we get the 20 percent deducted if service goes bad?
But what really fascinates me is the psychology of tipping. I’ve written before on the subject, and learned that why and how much we tip doesn't always have a lot to do with service. In fact, it’s all in our heads.
Here is an excerpt from: “The Tipping Point: A Nine-Part Treatise on the Art and Science of Restaurant Gratuities.” (I need to clarify here that I'm not the author of the treatise.)
I’ve shortened some of the descriptions. You can find the entire article here:
• The Empathetic Tipper — The Empathetic Tipper increases his/her tip out of a sense of guilt and obligation. ... Perhaps they just feel bad for participating in that whole "toxic vestige of Old World patronage" thing.
• The Flat Tipper … The Flat Tipper tips a fixed percentage regardless of service, usually exactly 15 percent or exactly double the sales tax.
• The Skinner Tipper — This diner adjusts his/her tip down based on perceived lapses in service, or, on rare occasions, up if service exceeds expectations. Though B.F. Skinner found that positive reinforcement is more effective than punishment, the Skinner Tipper tends to err on the punitive side of the spectrum.
• The Over Tipper: The Over Tipper, though ultimately benefiting the server, tips at almost embarrassing levels. Overcompensation or garish display of wealth? Regardless, most servers will laugh all the way to the bodega, buy an $8 pack of cigarettes, and then light them with all of that paper money.
• The Toady Tipper — The most psychologically complicated of tippers, the Toady tips out of a need for some kind of acceptance. While a good tip does tend to ingratiate you to your server, it doesn't necessarily mean your server wants to be your friend or, worse, your lover.
• The Verbal Tipper: The worst of all tippers. This diner lavishes praise, as they fold their wallet or button their pocket book. If they truly enjoyed their meal, why did they leave 10 percent? Thanks for the encouragement, Verbal Tipper, but I'll call my mom when I need a boost.”
I think I am on the cusp of Over Tipper and Empathetic Tipper. I’ve never worked at a restaurant, but it doesn’t look easy.
So fess up. What kind of tipper are you? And what do you think of the automatic gratuity? And I think servers should turn the tables and tell us about the worst customer behavior.
Even though I am not a waitress anymore, I do work in a restaurants. We add 17% grat for all parties over 5 ppl. There have been times where a customer had wanted it off because of bad service, and if the mgr agrees that they were not given the best of service then it is taken off. But believe me there are people out there that just don't believe in tipping and will do anything just to get it taken off.
When I go out I try to tip at least 30%, sometimes 50%, especially if I see other tables giving the waitstaff a hard time, I guess I'm just trying to make up for some people who don't get out much and don't know how to act in a decent place.
Just remember when your leaving your 5-10% tip that most waitiers make around $2.75 a hr.
— By mellissa gace
on Oct. 22 at 3:31 PM
I usually tip about 25%. One friend, who's from Vermont, told me once that Texans are generally regarded as some of the worst tippers. So it's definitely out of empathy/obligation. Plus, I can't imagine what would happen if I made $2.75 an hour and had to be *gasp* happy and nice to pad my income. I'd be homeless, I'm sure.
— By Brian Grant
on Oct. 22 at 6:06 PM
It seems in the last several years as business cut back on waitstaff and expect more out of the staff some believe the customers should makeup in the way of tips no matter what kind of service you receive, This is not all, some wait on you hand and foot keeping your glasses full, get your food out, check on you etc etc. They deserve a better than normal tip. If I get one who leaves you waiting to order, excuses for everything else and forgets you are there gets very little of a tip and I also speak with the manager. Once I had a manager tell me the waitstaff I had a complaint about was one of their best. I told them them they were in trouble if that was the best.
— By Kim Stellhorn
on Oct. 22 at 6:45 PM
Worked in the food and beverage industry for 3 years, I think that everyone at some point in their life should at least try it. Then they will understand a little bit more about the behind the scenes operations of a restaurant. And see some of the reasoning behind why they percieve that they are getting "bad" service.
It's a tough industry to work in, rewarding if you are good at it, but none the less tough. Servers work long hours on their feet all the time running around between the kitchen and their tables. When busy dealing with many people and trying to remember each and every little request each individual had. FYI, when you ask your server for ketchup or a refill....make sure you make all the requests at one time (if possible) there is nothing more annoying than coming back to the table with one thing then having to run right back to the back and get the same table another item, with some tables this happens seemingly every time the server goes to the table.
When I got out they are getting at least 30%, once when we had a party of 8 at a restaurant our server had the whole patio to herself (maybe 12 tables) she gave awesome service and was friendly about it....bill came to $95, handed her $200 and said keep the change, they appreciate/deserve it every now and then.
— By Josh Stover
on Oct. 22 at 7:27 PM
I think that most servers are overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated. That said, I do not like when a tip is automatically added to the bill. I can not think of many establishments that do this anyway. I usually pay 20% but a minimum of $3.00 for any wait staff service. Breakfast at Denny's usually comes for less than $10.00 and I see them doing about the same work as when I pay for a $25.00 entree for dinner somewhere. I like to keep it fair. I do not punish wait staff and leave nothing, but exceptionally bad service will get 10% and they get the point. 10% these days is a slap in the face. Leaving less is just rude. I have never been in a situation where I would leave no amount at all. The person would have to have been extremely unattentive and rude and I just haven't experienced that around here.
— By Rick Lines
on Oct. 22 at 9:57 PM
What do you all think about tipping at hotels?
I was just on a trip to Washington DC and stayed at a very nice hotel. The Valet Parking was $29 a day! You could save money and park yourself for a mere $19 a day. What a deal!
Anyway I chose Valet and I just felt like I was an ATM machine filled with ones dispensing to every guy that even looked at me. When does it stop?
A doorman opens the door for you, cha-ching $. The valet guy runs over and takes your keys, cha-ching $. The bellman gets your luggage, cha-ching $. Oh, and then the bellman says your luggage will come up to your room when you check in. You check in and then a DIFFERENT guy brings it up....cha-ching, more tip.
I had 4 transactions in less than 10 minutes. Ridiculous. If I could sneak in the back of the hotel I would!
— By Rick Lines
on Oct. 22 at 10:06 PM
1st, I fall into the over tipper bunch. I think the whole 15-20% only works in some instances like at a really expensive restaurant. I usually tip 30-50% depending on if my table ordered drinks and the service. 15-20% of a 5-10 dollar meal is just ridiculous.
2nd, sorry Kim Stellhorn but people that go to the manager are the most annoying of all guests at a restaurant. I have seen many people do this in my life and usually that person looks like a stuck up to good for you kind of person that few people like. Contacting a manager just because someone is having a bad day or the restaurant is too busy is also ridiculous. I have many friends that are in the industry and get stiffed all the time. What really sucks is that when you go to the manager they probably act like they will comp your dinner, but in reality they make the server pay for it out of their pocket. That waiter that appears to be giving bad service might have just lost his/her income from that day because of someone going to the manager for no good reason. Tortuga’s in Galveston is one of many restaurants known for doing this to their employees and the sad thing is that with few jobs available right now many are stuck with what they have. I have heard many stories of people getting over $100 dollars of food and drinks then complaining to the manager and getting their meal for free and the waiter or waitress has to pay for it. Try being in a good mood after that.
3rd, and Rick Lines regarding tipping at hotels...if you can't afford tip stay at a cheaper hotel. 4 and 5 star hotels always have similar accommodations and tipping is how most of the staff make most of their money and it’s also why they provide such good service.
— By A Local
on Oct. 22 at 10:29 PM
Sorry, but the employer should have to pay the employees. I am tired of being expected to pay "because they only make $2.75 per hour." They know when they take the job what it pays. No other industry gets tips for good service.
Service is getting worse and worse, and tips are expected to be higher and higher.
A local - remember that people on business trips often do not choose where they are staying. However, many times the tips comes from your pocket. I really have a problem with people who "expect" tips. Also have a problem with being asked "do you need change." Bring me the change and let me take care of the rest.
— By teresa
on Oct. 22 at 11:36 PM
I go several ways I guess. I try to give at minimum 20-25% but I've had horrible service before and not tipped a thing. Sitting 3 hours for ice cold, straight from the fridge food is not acceptable and a manager with an attitude makes it worse. I agree that service is getting worse and worse at some establishments on the island. We stopped going to one of our favorites because we would sit for 20-30 minutes before anyone would come to our table to take our drink order in an empty restaurant then show up with an attitude like we had interrupted their smoke break/day. I have a friend that worked as a waiter and he believes that to get good tips you have to provide great service. Woman should be served first, drinks should never be empty, service should be prompt, no attitude, and if there is a problem you go out of your way to fix it. Just because the restaurant is busy doesn't give a waiter the right to be a jerk, you choose your profession and if you're not happy do something about it don't take it out on me.
— By Rachael Dawn
on Oct. 23 at 1:40 AM
Having worked in service industry for many years before going back to school, I know the feeling of feet that are swollen from concrete floors; customers who feel that they have purchased me along with their food; and managers who have not got the least idea how to schedule.
That being said, I expect decent service when I go out, the level of service expected has a direct correlation to the quality of the restaurant - fine dining had better have fine service. At a diner I expect a more homey level of service. If I can't afford to tip, I drive thru. My husband and I tip about 25% IF the service deserves it. I agree with the writer who said that lousy service gets a lousy tip. I also wll talk to a manager if the service is not up to expectations. At a Ryans last week, the server walked by us several times. After no drinks for more than 10 minutes, my daughter made our drinks and brought them to the table. Guess who got the tip? Not the "server". Personally, I would rather the restaurant raise its prices to pay the servers at least minimum wage and eliminate tips altogether.
— By Sandra Morrison-O'Donohoe
on Oct. 23 at 7:51 AM
teresa - "tips are expected to be higher and higher"
I've been aware of this also. Decades ago it used to be 10% and for a long time it's been 15%. Now it's seems like the minimum should be 20%. Anyway, the minimum I tip now is 20% unless the service is really bad. I rarely go above 25%. There are those places where you can get "cheap eats" -- i.e. La Estacion for breakfast. At those places I will go to 30%. The waitresses are working their butts off and I like to tip them based on their service directly -- not based on the price of the cheap meal.
— By Gerald Vimont
on Oct. 23 at 10:09 AM
Teresa,
Also have a problem with being asked "do you need change." Bring me the change and let me take care of the rest.
I spent a good portion of my college years as a waiter at Rainforest Cafe, and let me tell you from experience, most waiters/waitresses ask that because they do not carry exact change. I used to round down to the lowest dollar (If the bill was 25.42, and they gave 30, I would give back 5 dollars) just to make the math easier.
Also, take note that working as a waiter or bartender is known as being part of the "Service" industry. We are doing you a service by taking care of you, getting your food order correct, making your drinks, keeping you and your family happy, thus meaning we should be compensated for our work. If our service is bad, then a lower tip is understandable, but if you have a good experience, then reward the waiter. If you do not understand that logic, then you shouldn't go out to eat/drink.
On tipping, I usually tip 30 percent because I know there are people who go out to restaurants and do not understand what a waiter makes, and what a waiter loses to tip out. Remember, no matter what you tip a waiter, a waiter has to tip out a percentage of their earnings based on their sales.
— By Dustin Helton
on Oct. 26 at 2:20 PM
I tip 5%, unless the service is very good. Then I tip 8%. ;>)
Personally, I wish that restaurants in the US would catch up with other parts of the world and pay the service staff a decent salary so that we can eliminate the expectation of tipping.
IMHO - tipping only benefits the restaurant owners because they can pay their staff rediculous wages and minimize their payroll taxes. I waited tables 20+ years ago and I only reported fifty cents on the dollar to the IRS.
— By Mark Keehn
on Oct. 29 at 9:07 AM
Just who decides when tipping should go from 10% to 15% to 20% or more? The restaurant owner, the server, who? I should decide how much I want to give, period. If my glass of tea does not get refilled during the entire meal you will get a penny. If you give me good service you are going to get at a minimum 15%. But here's my gripe. The restaurant industry should pay it's staff. Many restaurants make their servers split their tips with bus boys and bartenders. Bus boys make the new minimum wage which is over $7.00 and hour. Why the heck should servers share the tip with a bus boy that makes nearly three time the hourly wage that the server makes? Many restaurants have servers cleaning tables now because they don't want to pay a busboy over $7.00 an hour. Well, I don't want my FOOD SERVER cleaning a dirty talbe then serving me my food. PERIOD!!! I think all counties or the state should pass ordinances or laws to immediatley stop this practice. If you have to was your hands when you go to the restroom you should damn sure have to wash your hads after sticking your fingers into someone's dirty glass before you serve me my food. But I'll will still decide what tip I leave.
— By David Macaluso
on Oct. 29 at 11:50 AM
We usually tip 20% or more. My pet peeve like some of the others is "do you want change" THAT question will get your tip cut in my book. It is rude to assume that I am going to leave you a $40 tip on a $60 tab when my tea glass is empty and you have been standing there with the other waitstaff talking and ignoring restaurant patrons. On the other hand, if you are busting your butt because the restaurant is busy and my tea glass is empty I am not going to leave a lower tip. We have been to places that the tip is added to our meal and that is all the tip they get no matter how good the service and we have told the server and the manager that the gypped themselves out of a higher tip by adding the tip to our bill.
We have gone into restaurants for dessert after a concert or sporting event and left the waitperson a tip that is more than the bill.
If you give crappy service you deserve a cappy tip.
I won't hold a kitchen error again a waitperson either unless they are rude when I call it to their attention. I don't eat onions and placed my order without onions, well when my order arrived (with onions) I said something to the waiter they got really rude with me instead of apologizing and simply taking my plate back to the kitchen and having the kitchen fix it.
— By Metairie Me
on Oct. 29 at 4:52 PM
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Laura Elder has covered business for The Daily News for since 2001 and writes Biz Buzz, a twice-weekly column.
She grew up in Houston and graduated from the University of Houston with a communications degree in 1992. She worked for six years at the Houston Business Journal covering the retail and restaurant industries.
She lives in Galveston with her husband Michael Smith, also a journalist.
